Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
