Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
