i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize