do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
