I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
