Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize