If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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