ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this beer tastes like vomit already
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
