Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
