I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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