put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
