Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
