I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Green mimosas i think yes
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
