Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
