Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
