HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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