But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize