Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
