i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
