Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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