I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
