jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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