Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
