She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
