Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
