I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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