She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize