I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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