just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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