Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
