I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
