you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
