i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
