i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
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