We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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