I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Betty ford says i'm here all night
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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