but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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