I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
