ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
