ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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