Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
