THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
