I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
