i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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