So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
