you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize