goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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