What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
