...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
smell my finger.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
