I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
home. puking in laundry basket.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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