break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
