You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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