this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize