Just cropdusted the office
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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