Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
