she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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