I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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