Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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