my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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