how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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